13| kuriosity over fear
updates + a lil woo-woo by yours truly
a song that sounds how my c̶u̶r̶i̶o̶s̶i̶t̶y̶ (k)uriosity feels:
NRG FLEXX [Infinite Zonez Edit 1] by Suzi Analogue
Recently, someone asked me, “What’s next? What you got going on?” “…Still doing that photography thing?” These are such simple questions, yet I had no clue how to answer them. I’m pretty sure my mind went blank for a minute there.
As a multi-passionate person, I tend to overthink which response to give in this situation and end up keeping it simple for the other person’s sake. I have been embracing my non-linear journey, which requires so much faith, resilience, and patience from me. But it can be a bit difficult to explain to people who only see our lives as straight, parallel lines. Especially in a culture where we rush a lot, hold achievements and accomplishments over values and character, and discredit the mere existence of uncertainty. I’m learning it’s okay to keep it simple with some people. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” or “I’m figuring it out,” especially to someone who is in a hurry or only asking to be nice.
Contrary to what it may look like, learning and practicing to a decent level in a few different skills that interest you takes much a special type of discipline and a strong adaptability muscle. I realized you can still use systems, planning, routines, ebbs, and flows, which I’ve begun implementing in the past year. However, being multi-passionate and multi-distracted is not the same and there is a thin line.
I attribute learning some of these lessons to years of being in many different organized sports and clubs growing up. Those processes and cycles seem familiar to me as I now manage school, kreativity, barista-ing, and volunteering. Discipline and persistence are what I gained over those years. After all those years spent going to practice, playing in games or tournaments, even when I sucked, pushing myself mentally and physically during training, still showing up in clubs, trying not to fall asleep in class, I feel grateful for that time. These days, I hear a lot about hurrying to niche down in something most profitable, but it is combining my diverse skills that is leading me to growth, connection, and my unique perspective.
Fortune cookie of the week: "You can't get over to the left turning lane without crossing first."
me + a projector, my plants, a couple minerals, my camera playing around in the studio :)
While I still make work in portraiture and documentary photography, I have expanded my work to the sciences, specifically permaculture and environmental science. This expansion comes by way of me no longer prolonging my other interests. Not waiting until I have a bunch of land to learn how to grow food or until I’m older to try things I’m eager about. I began showing up in spaces and trading the skills I currently hold for knowledge and training in the skills I want to gain/improve. I come ready with gloves, a notebook, or a camera in hand, ready to learn skills I can apply to my personal life and community, i.e., growing more of my food, bee-keeping, and other sustainability practices.
At first, I didn’t necessarily think it would affect my portfolio work as a photographer, Kreation Space, or that I would share any of it. I thought I was just working with what I have to build the lifestyle that fits me. But my perspective has expanded since stepping into more of these spaces. I’m so excited to incorporate nature into the themes I make work about and share other offerings tied to what I’ve been learning i.e. zines, prints, maybe a tote?
Without (k)uriosity, I’m not sure I would have ever consistently picked up a camera or volunteered on a local farm where I knew no one. It can be easy to let fear take over, almost too easy… I instead have been practicing using fear as a tool. Asking and answering reflective questions as an approach to staying calm and questioning the validity of said fears works wonders. A simple Who, What, When, Why, and How? quickly addresses the concern and centers me in moments where fear arises.
A family friend who is a mineral collector gifted me some to photograph and test my macro skills with. This became an issue because my current lens kit doesn’t optimize for macro photography or super close-up shots. But it’s hard me to turn down a good challenge. For challenges, I have been unconsciously applying the scientific method. This led me to use a magnifying glass as a temporary solution for my first round of test shots with the crystals and minerals. Using what I have is a major part of my practice. Hence, why I use the minerals in the visuals as an example of holding space for your curiosity. I can’t wait to incorporate more of these minerals into the interior design of my actual Kreation Space!
I say all of that to encourage anyone reading this to keep trusting their unique paths and journeys! There are innovative solutions and cool opportunities that you can find by simply tapping into the different skills you have. This integration is so personalized and takes longer, but it can be fulfilling.
Until next time…
Much love,
K